


The Dutchman's Journal

by EdouBunny



Series: Amnesia: Beyond The Abyss - LehrerSchuler centric AU [3]
Category: Amnesia: The Dark Descent
Genre: Additional Warnings Apply, Agrippa Headcanon - Heart Disease, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Other, Trigger Warning - Self harm, WELL THAT'S HOW IT PLAYED OUT WITH ME AND LEPPARD AND I LIKE IT SO IT'S STAYING LMAO, Weyer and Alexander's Stubborn natures, Weyer's hard work in getting Agrippa back, Why are the Def Leppard band members in here?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-28
Updated: 2019-05-28
Packaged: 2020-03-26 12:28:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,966
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19005805
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EdouBunny/pseuds/EdouBunny
Summary: Johann Weyer's POV events written down in journals before, during, and after the Brennenburg Incident. All of his struggles of how he studied as hard as he did about the mystical Orbs, his trust waning from Alexander, building with the Shadow, meeting new friends and having old wounds open up from the events following afterward.





	1. Red Journal - Before the events of Brennenburg

**Author's Note:**

> I thought of this while rping with a friend and girlfriend. I never realized until then how much I missed writing POVs from journal writing. Definitely might do that for Code: Crimpphire at some point, cuz I have thought about it for a few days. I'll def do it cuz I got Wily journal entries when he was in the process of creating Zero SOOOOOOOO >w>
> 
> YUP IT'S GON HAPPEN LMAO
> 
> Anyway, enjoy the headcanon thoughts of what my Weyer would have written in the Beyond the Abyss AU of Amnesia :3c

_14 November, 1541_

_I cannot believe we are going to Brennenburg to learn more about the orbs! A Baron of Prussia named- Alexander of Brennenburg, had one in his possession. I have not heard of anyone holding such an artifact. But I guess this is a road to go on to study those mystical artifacts, at last. Finally, something more interesting than just learning how to cast and write spells as I have for so many years under Heinrich’s teachings. Heinrich even said I’m surpassing him_

_Alexander is going to help us study them. Considering he has one, he should know it's properties at least a little more than us right? We'll have to see. What with the spells I developed._

_Heinrich seems happy, but I have a terrible feeling about this. And my feelings for him have been growing stronger all the more, as the decade passed. And after my divorce with Judith, and Heinrich's divorce with his own third wife... Will I be able to tell him how I feel..? I have been considering wanting to wear a moon earring for a while. Heinrich actually wanted to wear a star earring to kind of match mine. He knows I am into the goddesses of the moon and night sky: Luna and Nox._

_Before we left for the trip, however, we had a- moment, I should guess. It is like we almost kissed. But I do not want him to know. At least, not yet._

_But should the time ever arise, I guess we shall see if I ever get the opportunity. I will tell Heinrich how much I love him.. And I will see if he ever returns those feelings to me. My heart swells.. Hoping that those intuitions of mine are true.._

_-J.W._

  


* * *

_17 November, 1541_

_On the day we disembarked on our journey to Prussia, I couldn’t hold in my feelings to Heinrich any longer. I loved him so dearly, I just- couldn’t keep it to myself._

_I was having second thoughts, and I thought I should stay and manage the house while Heinrich went on without me. Although, during that time he told me he promised I would be able to come with him, he meant it. I felt so honored to come with him and it meant so much to him.. I wondered if he felt the same after all._

  
  
_He held my hand while telling me I should come. I figured I should tell him. Did he ever know how much I longed for him? How much he meant to me? I never knew. I just wanted to let him know how much I cared for him. I intertwined my fingers through Heinrich's. How much I wanted to tell him.. So I told him I had something to tell him when we boarded. He told me he had something to tell me as well. So it was a done deal that we would tell each other something when we boarded._

_Heinrich seemed nervous, as was I. He wanted me to go first. So I told him, with no one around, hoping no one was listening, that I told him I loved him. I loved him since I was 16, and that love never faltered. I admittedly even told him my heart shattered when he married three times. Every time just seemed to be hopeless for me to even have his heart._

_Heinrich never realized how much pain it caused me. He said he didn’t want me to feel terrible about my desires for him. I looked at him, tears in my eyes, confused. But then my hope sparked back up as Heinrich told me he loved me back! What a relief! Weight off my chest and heart had lifted! I told him how I felt, and he felt the same! I leaned in and kissed him. He, thankfully kissed back. I practically melted. It felt so good to be with the one I loved for so long._

  
  
_After Heinrich broke our kiss, he told me we shouldn’t show public affection until we have our privacy in Brennenburg. I nodded, understanding completely. Even if my heart screamed as if it was a Banshee not wanting me to hide anything with him. But we were already accused of witchcraft on it’s own. We barely escaped those few times mobs came to our doorstep to burn us at the stake. Luckily, we would teleport away back to secluded areas to keep ourselves alive. I’m lucky to be alive, especially to be with the one I love._  
  
_-J.W._

  


* * *

_30 November, 1541_

_It has been a couple of weeks since our trip to Brennenburg. And we have been learning more about the artifacts. And we did learn there was more than one before coming here, but Alexander had told us there were TEN of them! And no one knows where they are now!_

_I do have a map of some that have been recorded in previous Mithraic practices. There were only four on it. But I'm sure, if I had permission, I could track down the rest. And to see if there were any properties the orbs had in tracking down each and every one of them._

_Though, we were told of the Guardian. Tin Hinan. The Shadow who protects these artifacts... That creature went by many names, but no one knew what they actually looked like. Only time will tell, I suppose._

_We had our breaks, and Heinrich and I had been cuddling close together. Never letting our studies overshadow each other._

_I never knew how satisfying to sweep Heinrich’s hair out of his freckled face. His freckled face was already a painting of stars on him. I even told him that he was the moon to my stars. Heinrich chuckled and proceeded to say that I was to moon to his stars. Since I wear a moon earring and a star earring._

  
  
_I was curious then, so I asked him why he gotten a star earring to match my moon. He told me he wanted to match with me. Knowing he held deep feelings for me as well, but figured he would have been too old for me. I exclaimed I never would think that, but it was understandable. Considering our twenty-three year old age gap. I never felt so happy in my life than being with him in the real. I kissed him again that night. I wanted to feel that sweet feeling I never felt with Judith when I was married to her._

  
  
_If I never met him, I never would have felt a love like this before._

_-J.W._

  


* * *

_23 December, 1541_

_It is almost Christmas. Heinrich loves the holiday. I'm indifferent, but if Heinrich loves it, then it makes me appreciate it all the more. Alexander seems to be atheist. Since the holiday is something of a bother to him._

_We had a break though and looked around the town of Altstadt. It was quaint and others were friendly. Even though some others were afraid of us. Being we're Heinrich Cornelius Agrippa and his Student Johann Weyer, for the sake of the Gods. I mean... Learning the occult and Alchemy can be a few taboo things to learn in this day and age. The Catholic and Christian practices are forbidding everything these days. And thankfully.. Not many people know of my undying love for Heinrich..._

_As loving someone of the same gender is also considered forbidden. They will know we’re actually together in secret._  
  
_Sometimes I even wonder if Alexander seems to know at all. Especially if we- had our first time together. If you know exactly what I mean. My love for Heinrich has escalated tenfold since then. I was hoping we’d have more sessions like this. I kind of- want a break from the orbs than just this. But Alexander insists that we do so._

_He seems so intent on knowing what the orbs are capable of than either Heinrich or I have ever been. Something tells me that there’s a set goal he has than just trying to understand the orbs. I couldn’t be anymore suspicious of him._

_Somehow, I feel he’s also suspicious of us, when all we want is to study the orbs and understand it’s properties. Nothing more. But he may have other plans._

_-J.W._

  


* * *

_23 February, 1542_

_It's been a couple of more months since we stayed with the Baron. But.- Something isn't right. I'm feeling a strange presence. As if we shouldn't be here and go back to Germany... But something is very amiss. I'm going to find out what it is._

_I also discovered something remarkable. When I touched Alexander's Orb, it reacted to my touch. As if my energy is tied to it. I tried to use a channeling spell I managed assemble myself these past few years, and it seemed to work! I channeled my energy to the orb, as we studied before, and it worked tremendously! Even though Alexander thinks that wouldn't work. But all that happened flawlessly and proved the Baron wrong! I'll have to look into this later._

_-J.W._  


* * *

_1 March, 1542_

_I studied moreover my method of channeling with the orbs in secret, knowing my suspicions around Alexander were becoming too great. I wanted to tell Heinrich, but I cannot risk having him get in trouble if the Baron caught us both._

_When I channeled the orb for the first time thoroughly on the 25th of February, the Guardian came up to me. Asking who I was, and even asking how I could channel the orbs. I told it, and well... it called me very intelligent young man who can possess great power._

_After about ten minutes, I couldn't channel it any longer. The Guardian's voice echoed in my head as it disappeared, "Should you channel the Orbs for too long, your energy will drain". I couldn't hear it any longer. Seems communicating with it was a sure way to find out how to study the orbs._

_I tried it again about two days later, the 27th of February, I asked the Guardian what was going on. It told me about Alexander's cruel intentions and wrong ways of channeling to the orb. And has been trying to use it to go back to his homeworld. Where he was banished._

_I never knew any of this information before... I stopped doing this for a while. Mainly because of the energy drains I was getting. Alexander may be onto us if he found out what I was doing. I also have to tell Heinrich.._

_Seems our stay here is more dangerous than we previously thought. I may need to protect Heinrich as best as I can._

_-J.W._

* * *

_8 March, 1542_

_Damn it! Damn it! Fucking damn it! Why did this had to happen!? Why!?_

_I'm too emotionally exhausted and stressed to write about this... I'll write about this later.._

_-J.W._

* * *

_11 March, 1542_

_I suppose I'll have to if I want this out of my system-_

_The 8th, a few days ago, I studied more of what Alexander was doing. He was torturing prisoners and doing this to stay alive. Thankfully, he didn't have much prisoners at the moment. Though, it said Alexander will get a lot more prisoners for centuries to come if someone doesn't stop him. And that he was from another world. I did not know what that meant. But hopefully it will make sense in the near future._

_Though, I didn't involve Heinrich, but they told me my teacher was in grave danger. They knew my deep feelings for him. So they told me to take Heinrich out of this castle, back to Germany soon, or the danger upon him would put him in this danger. He would have a condition that would cripple him for the rest of his life if I didn’t protect him. I obliged, not knowing what they meant. But if I needed to protect Heinrich as best I could, I needed to do so. No questions asked._

_I did. But Alexander had found out what I knew before I could tell him more. I told him of what I discovered in my studies, Alexander's true intentions, and.-_

_Although, I created a portal to get us out so we could escape together! Be away from this wretched world! Away from others who discriminate us, away from anymore pain! I could love him for all eternity! However I wanted. However I saw fit, and Heinrich would love that._

_I offered my hand to him, telling him of the better life we can. Especially since we wouldn’t be burned to the stake and our lives wouldn’t be in constant danger! I could protect him! Heinrich knew he would never deny he would be protected. But Heinrich had to sacrifice himself. He was too scared of Alexander catching both of us, let alone, what was beyond the portal. Knowing Alexander was close by. So he let me go._

_At first I didn't want to leave him behind! I should have just yanked in the portal with me! I should have told him I wanted him with me and then taken him!_

_But then I thought- he was right. If Alexander caught us the moment we escaped his clutches, he would have done something to us! So I left him behind. I didn't want to, but I had to fulfill my love's sacrifice for me. Now I'm stuck here in this place! In the wilderness! At least I have shelter. I, unfortunately, do not have the orb with me. As it is left behind. Still in Alexander’s hands._

_Oh, Heinrich... My love- I'm sorry- I'm so sorry for being so useless-!!_

_-J.W._


	2. Blue Journal - During the Events of Brennenburg

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> All those years, having those heavy feelings for his teacher and best friend and he finally gets to tell him how he feels, his feelings being returned. Only to have the one old man Baron they thought they trusted, to betray them and separate them the way it did.
> 
> It has only just begun.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now we're getting into the events of the Brennenburg Incident starting!!
> 
> Hoo boy, this is gon be an emotional ride.

_ 15 September, 1542 _

 

_ First time here for Heinrich's birthday. without the birthday boy. Oh, how I miss him so! I was so stupid to leave him behind... No matter how many times I tell myself Heinrich was right... _

 

_ I have to find a way to save him! I have to! But how-? _

 

_ Ever since I got to the other side, I didn't know where I was! I thought I was in a different world with no inhabitants! But, I ran into someone.. Simon, his name was.. He asked me if there was anything wrong. _

 

_ Well, first off, I'm soaked! I fell into a pond of some sort, and a strange- invisible creature ran after me! I ran so far from the Portal point, I saw a village. Quite small, in fact. That was when I ran into him. _

 

_ I had told him everything that happened. All I had was my red journal. It was mostly filled, and I had nothing else to write in. He helped me get to his home and help me dry my clothes. _

 

_ I should say his appearance was more like an anthropomorphic blue lizard alien of sorts. I did say that out loud, and Simon laughed! He said I wasn't wrong. Being they're from a different planet. I was astonished! Amazed, even! I didn't know otherworldly beings lived on other planets! _

 

_ Though, I asked if they knew a man named Alexander. I assumed they did not. But, Simon gotten serious. He said he had known of him and that he was from here, from my description of his personality. The Shadow was right! He is not of our world! I know what it means now! He's from another planet! An alien! _

 

_ In this world, it was forbidden to use the outlawed spells of Alchemy. Which Alexander had done. Trying to revive his lover. But that never happened. Thus, the government finding out, and banishing him. Though, their species was becoming void of presence. Close to extinction. A plague was slowly killing them all off. _

 

_ Simon also told me that I might be stuck here without much materials to get out of here and back to Earth. But I might also be too weak. Being human. I had to accept my fate while being here. Though, if I had the orbs, I could get back the Brennenburg to save Heinrich! _

 

_ Simon took me to an abandoned tower. It seemed appropriate, I suppose. I just needed a little more Alchemy to transport my things from the castle and from Germany. Thankfully, that wasn't too hard of a problem to fix. Also, they had the ingredients I needed here! They have a vast supply better than they do where I came from! This was the silver lining to the situation! _

 

_ I had teleported my things to the tower, and it looked as if I was back in Germany. Only, one thing was missing: Heinrich... Simon asked what was wrong before he left back to his village. I didn't have the heart to tell him at the moment, but he said I should let him know if I needed anything and he'd be in his village if need be. I thanked him as he left, found this new and empty blue journal to write in, and here I am in the present day. _

 

__ I just realized, it might not be as easy to get out of this place opposed to coming here. Which was kind of easy. And teleporting items were easy. I really wanted to teleport Cayla here, so she’d stay with me, but I didn’t know if she was still back at the house. Knowing we would have been back months ago, and if she was, would she question why all the things in our house are gone? Including her stuffed toys Heinrich made for her? She may notice., and I’m hoping she stays like the good girl she is. Otherwise, she might go looking for us. She does tend to worry for her age.   
  
If I do find her, I will take her here and have her stay with me as I stated earlier. So she won’t be alone. I hope she doesn’t think we abandoned her. 

 

_ Dear Gods Luna and Nox, Please help me find a way to save Heinrich. I hate to think about depressing thoughts on my lover's birthday, but I cannot help it when an incident is occurring now. _

 

_ -J.W. _

 

_ P.S. I never told you, But I had this heavy feeling in my heart something happened to Heinrich the day after I escaped Brennenburg. I guess- This is only the beginning. _

 

* * *

  
  


_ 15 September, 1635 _

 

_ I apologize for not writing in so long... It has been- I'd say ninety-three years since I have been here. Simon has been of great help to me, and has become a good friend of mine. I'm- surprised that I have not aged in the least. It's like- I'm still twenty-six years old! This must be a magical planet where, if any creatures except their own ever come here, they will not age, or age so much slower. I should be dead, but here I am. Alive and well. _

 

_ I have been progressing with my study of the orbs. Despite me not having any of them. But it’s not just about to understand them anymore, but rather to try to save Heinrich. _

__  
  
I have the notes of when to stop using the energy to channel to the orb, and how to use it as a crystal ball. I hope I can use this knowledge to learn more, especially before I’m planning to make patronus charms from them when I have enough experience. To be honest, I always wanted to do this, especially when spending time with Heinrich. We might actually play around with it whenever I master that and save Heinrich.

 

_ Speaking of, as for the progress of trying to save him. Well, I managed to get a hold of him, actually! I did not  believe what I heard! Heinrich's soul is trapped in a dead husk! A body that wasn't his own! I didn't know how Alexander did it, I thought it was a part of a serum in a needle to numb Heinrich's nerves while the extracting soul process progressed. Heinrich even told me the process even hurt for a week.. He even had a side effect, which was his heart failing every so often. But he was kept alive. Apparently, the serum was also something that kept him alive as well. _

 

_ He couldn't tell me more, however, since Alexander found us out right away! I want to  kill him-! _

 

_ He also used the orb he had to communicate back to me. He told me that he knows where I am. He wants to go home, and I know the reason why. I will not let him go home unless he gives Heinrich to me. But he cannot trust me. Knowing that I messed with his orb. But that also turns out that it was the orb that Heinrich found! _

 

_ Heinrich told me of the time he found it and ran from the Guardian. Alexander found it later after Heinrich returned it, and brought it to Brennenburg. I don’t know the exact details. Heinrich was too scared from that event to tell me. Despite him being so fascinated by the orbs themselves. I suppose- that how the story started. _

 

_ Now I have to find a way to convince Alexander to release Heinrich... _

 

_ Another birthday without the birthday boy... No cake to share with him... He's taken from me, and used a bait to lure me to the Baron. But I'm not giving up! I have to save him! I have to! He's my teacher, my best friend..! The one I love so dearly-! _

 

_ -J.W. _

 

* * *

 

_ 31 October, 1697 _

 

_ These years go by, and there's not a time I would do except thinking about how to free Heinrich! These past few years I have been trying to get orbs in my possession. I even found one here, to my luck! I had four so far from there. _

 

_ I used the orb I found here to travel back to Earth! My energy being drained to greatly to go on for hours. That was one of the harder parts. I had to use rituals along with the orb’s use to get back. But when I'm back on my feet, I tried to gain more of them! I have five now. _

 

_ One of them was hard to get from French soldiers. Who seemed to think it would possess them great honor to the King. But thankfully, I got to them, and lead them to the Shadow to kill them off before they did anything drastic. It granted me the orb as a reward. Just to help me save Heinrich. _

 

_ Another event happened, just as I grabbed my fifth one. I had a similar situation with German soldiers. Knowing vaguely who I was. Since I went around Earth searching for orbs to collect. The Shadow said I needed at least seven of them. At any rate, what else could I do? Was there any other ideas to try and save my teacher without being another torture victim to Alexander? _

 

_ I even saw a glimpse of Heinrich's husk-! He looked-  Terrible ! The poor man! How could Alexander do this to someone I love so dearly!? Making him suffer THIS badly!? I promise, Heinrich! Even on my birthday! I will NOT rest, until you are safe in my arms again! _

 

_ -J.W. _

 

* * *

 

_ 18 April, 1721 _

 

_ Simon has still been a great help to me... But... as the years grow on, he grows older... The poor creature, and others are dying... There was no way to help other than tend to them until they rest in peace.. The only suffering I endure is physical exhaustion from trying to find more ways of saving Heinrich... But at what cost...? _

 

_ I promised myself and Heinrich I would do whatever it took to save him... Now I am rethinking it.. Is it really all that worth it...? All this studying... all this planning... all this life saving for all the poor creatures who have to suffer their extinction..! I feel as if I had enough... I don't want to go on... _

 

_ But Simon told me to keep going... If I loved Heinrich, since I told him back in 1635, I should never give up on him.. He was right... A good friend like him would keep me going... As well as others in his village give me the kindness and pushes I needed to help him, his people, and to save Heinrich... I may be exhausted now... But I'm still not giving up.. Even if I am depended on... it is my duty now... _

 

_ -J.W. _  
  
  


* * *

 

 

_ 15 September, 1739 _

 

**_[A Picture of Agrippa was greatly scribbled out on the left page, tear spots accompanied the scratched and scribbled attempt at the sketch. The right page was the following entry]_ **

 

_ I am at the end of my rope... My desires, my needs.... They feel disgusting..! All because of my priority to save Heinrich feels as if it's all been for naught! I cannot remember what my teacher even looks like! _

 

_ It has been One Hundred and Ninety Seven years.. Almost two centuries.... I am pathetic... _

 

_ -J.W. _

 

* * *

 

_ 20 June, 1748 _

 

_ Simon died of disease today... I lost a really good friend.. The other villagers had told me that ever since I had come two hundred and six years ago, it has been more eventful since then. And their deaths have come slower. I guess my medical experience has helped them greatly... But it doesn't help their extinction, unfortunately... _

 

_ I'm also told I'm happy I'm alive... But I have exceeded my limits as a human. I should have been dead over two centuries ago! And yet... I'm still here... _

 

_ I tried to channel to Heinrich again, but I think Alexander has cut off his communication with me. Doesn't surprise me one bit. The Bastard... Cutting more ties off with me and my love..! _

 

_ -J.W. _


	3. Green Journal - Climax and Aftermath of Brennenburg

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> All this waiting. All this studying, and all this effort, Weyer becomes sleep deprived, desperate, and nearly gives up. Until Daniel comes into the scene. Along with a few friends he makes who, in the end, show up under much different circumstances.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: This chapter does involve the mention of self harm, so if you're sensitive to that subject, please be careful reading this particular chapter, thank you.
> 
> CLIMAX IS HERE! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

_ 24 August, 1801 _

 

_ How long will I go on... How long will this take for me to help Heinrich from this pain..? This suffering...? _

 

_ I gained two of the other orbs. The Shadow had become a friend at this point. Knowing Simon was gone. Thankfully, not one person was around for the last two. I used them all to try and get back to Brennenburg. Since I fled, and left Heinrich behind, Alexander had put a ward on the Castle to prevent me from coming back. Even if he wanted me there.. What a mere idiot..! If he wanted Heinrich to lure me there, why put a ward on the Castle!? At least... That's what I thought. _

 

_ And then it hit me! It was for the Shadow! It told me that was the purpose for having that ward in the first place. The Shadow was trying to get back at Alexander for stealing the orb Heinrich put back! And for doing unthinkable acts to the poor villagers of Altstadt! That horrible, conspiring man! No! He should not be considered human! HE'S A FUCKING ALIEN WHO DESERVES NO RECOGNITION! _

 

_ And yet... I have no other choice.. But I made one other option. I went back to Brennenburg. For the first time in two hundred and fifty nine years! I started my mission to find Heinrich, I will write more as it develops.. _

 

_ -J.W. _

 

* * *

 

 

_ 25 August, 1801 _

 

_ I have been tracking the Castle since early morning. I have been avoiding creatures of a horrifying nature! They were terrible! I even heard Alexander..! He had the powers of telepathy! I could hear him talking to his servants. He doesn't know I'm here... at least, not yet... _

 

_ I trekked from the Rainy Hall... to the Archives, the wine cellar, the cellar archives, the back hall- even the prisons! Where there were many prisoners kept for torture. I even had time in the south prisons to ask what was happening. A woman told me that the Baron was torturing other villagers of Altstadt, even if they did nothing wrong! He was torturing innocents! _

 

_ But then I asked her if Alexander was keeping someone who was of German origin, and maybe locked here somewhere. She didn't know. But one man knew.. He saw Heinrich! Not his husk self, but his real self! How did he escape!? I didn't even have a method to free him yet. Maybe I should think of one later when I return to Alexander's world. _

 

_ I have also been studying Lumokinesis as well. It's still at an intermediate level, and not very well performed or controlled, but at least I can execute it at will. Even the Shadow has helped me with Erebokinesis. Which is a slower process to learn and practice. Being it's partly dark magic. _

 

_ I thanked the man and promised to free him and the others in these cells. I'll tell you more later. There's very little time to travel between areas. _

 

_ -J.W. _

 

* * *

 

  
  


_ 26 August, 1801 _

 

_ I did it! I finally found Heinrich! He was in the Nave! Being chained against a wall there. It was unexpected, but I found him! And he managed to exit from the husk as a spirit! It was like his old self! Except he didn't have a corporeal feeling to him. I was so happy to see him, as he was happy to see me! Only, he wasn't too happy, however. _

 

_ It was a small reunion. Since this incident has been going on for the longest time. And is far from over. He told me Alexander has been extracting something called Vitae from other prisoners. And He's been using it to keep alive, as the Shadow told me! It was right, once again! So far, it has proven to be a predictor. Even a foreseer of prophecies! But, no prophecies seemed to help this situation. _

 

_ Alexander was coming, and I hid behind some crates! He choked Heinrich, holding him by his neck! I grew angered at this sight! There is no way he was going to hurt him like this! Then, I heard him talk about how he has to keep him alive so I can see him again. Joke is on him, since I saw Heinrich again. But only for a brief time. Once he finally left, I had to go back. Since I knew everything now. But he told me, before I left, that he knew a way to free me, but all he knew was the vitae was an ingredient to use. I nodded, blowing him a kiss and telling him I'll find that way to save him! I might have a way to get him back now! I'm sure of it! _

 

_ -J.W. _

 

_ P.S. If you're wondering about the prisoners I promised to help escape, don't worry... They're free, and they told the Outrider, who told the Kingsmen. I'm sure Alexander will get his justice now... _

 

* * *

 

  
  


_ 23 September, 1814 _

 

_ I arrived back from Brennenburg to find the village empty. They have all disappeared... All gone. I feel responsible and selfish for leaving them for three days after I came back... May the good people of this planet rest in peace... _

 

_ But I now have a solution to free Heinrich from his wretched prison. But so far, it has not worked yet. I told Alexander if he should ever free Heinrich, he must have the following ingredients: _

 

> **_-A tampter (A bone eaten off a thigh from a  Kaernk. Yes, those invisible monsters I encountered when I first got here, that's what they're called)_ **
> 
>  
> 
> **_-Boiled Vitae (Vitae must be simmered over a fire to purify it)_ **
> 
>  
> 
> **_-Poison gland from a giant mushroom_ **

 

_ Mix these ingredients together and you have my tonic to feed him, and he must have his... head severed off, and it won't take his life. If he takes too long not cutting his head off, the effects of the tonic will wear off. And waiting too long after that, will kill Heinrich.. I have a lump in my throat just thinking about it. _

 

_ It's been thirteen years since I told Alexander of the tonic. He's written it down, and I do not know if he will take to the plan or not. I will return him, and he frees Heinrich. But we do not trust each other. I guess... What we'll have to do now, is play the waiting game... _

 

_ And... I guess I'm in full isolation now... _

 

_ -J.W. _

 

* * *

 

  
  


_ 15 September, 1826 _

 

_ No.. No..! NO! NONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONO!!!! _

 

_ That Bastard had found a way to divert himself from the justice he had coming to him! I don't know how, but he channeled to me!  _

 

_ I don't know if I can wait any longer! I have to make a choice! Either lose Heinrich, or sacrifice myself to save him! Alexander told me that if I took Heinrich, that he would try to kill him before we would even try leaving the castle! He knows of our feelings towards each other! He's trying to bribe Heinrich into staying! Even torturing him into telling him how I got back from his world! He's trying to manipulate him and hurt him! No, Heinrich! Don't give into this disgusting Alien's lies! _

 

_ DON'T THINK ABOUT THE WORST TO COME!! _

 

_ And yet... I do the same... _

 

_ -J.W. _

 

**_[There was ink all over the page, but it was wiped off and then written on. At least it was readable]_ **

 

__

* * *

 

  
  


_ 8 March, 1833 _

 

_ So Heinrich gotten back to me... Alexander wants nothing to do with us now... He doesn't care what Heinrich does in the castle anymore.. Even channeling to me... He wanders around the castle. Even a man named Daniel has come to the Castle... Wanting escape from his Father's abusive household... At least.. That was what Heinrich was told.. _

 

_ Daniel even fell in love with Alexander... Who in their RIGHT MIND would love someone like him!? But... he promised Daniel he would help his little sister Hazel out of the Hospice and get her to Brennenburg. I thought he was going to eventually abandon Daniel, or torture him. But that does not seem to be the case. They eventually forgotten about Hazel's freedom, since she's riddled with Tuberculosis. An epidemic illness going on right now. _

 

_ And this day, a child is born... Xaniel Von Brennenburg.. Heinrich loves how cute the child is, but I for one am thinking he'll be like his mother... _

 

_ But... I guess.. Alexander can be happy while I cannot... _

 

_ -J.W. _

 

* * *

 

_ 12 January, 1839 _

 

_ I learned... That Heinrich may lose hope... As well as I... This may be our last moment together... Even if it's just channeling each other to communicate.. Before Xaniel's 5th birthday, he went missing... I do not know how in both Nox and Luna's name he had gotten lost. But I think it was Daniel's orb... Yes, he had gotten one too. Alexander found another after he broken Heinrich's... _

 

_ Must have over exceeded the power of the orb and shattered it into pieces. Served him right. Especially telling ME that my way of channeling energy was wrong! _

 

_ But I digress... Alexander felt terrible for what happened to their son. Daniel felt even worse. Especially remembering how Alexander was supposed to bring Hazel back... And accused him of breaking his promise... Which I do not blame him for, and can HEAVILY empathize... _

 

_ It turned out Alexander had wiped Daniel's memories, send him back to England, and send that orb back to where it was. He could have kept it, but for the sake of the Gods, I was GLAD he did not keep it. _

 

_ It must have reminded him of how it made his son vanish before his and Daniel's eyes... I thought about having no children... But.. It made me want them now for some reason... And I felt bad about Xaniel... He must be a poor, lost little boy.. Cold, and hungry... _

 

_ Heinrich wanted to give up... But I said no! We aren't giving up! This may be our last moment of actually communicating, but I swear the Gods I favor, I will NOT let Heinrich be neglected and suffer any longer...! _

 

_ -J.W. _

 

* * *

 

  
  


_ 3 August, 1839 _

 

_ I channeled my energy into crystal ball magic to one of the orbs I possessed! It seemed impossible to me, but developing spells for many years now, but I had done it! Heinrich may not have wanted me to channel to him any longer, but I don't care! As long as I watch over him, I hoped everything would be alright... But.. It doesn't seem to be the case... _

 

_ As I watched what was going on, Daniel had come back! With that same orb in hand! Alexander had told him the orb was to be kept, and that the Shadow would go onto Daniel if he didn't do what Alexander told him to. If Alexander was so desperate to get back home, he must have stopped caring about his own child! I suppose someone like him never changes. _

 

_ I saw Heinrich was losing hope more than before... Despair had taken over him... I'm still exhausted from trying to find a way to get to Brennenburg... _

 

_ It'll go as it has been for the last two hundred and ninety seven years... Heinrich's birthday will not be celebrated... He'll continue to suffer... Knowing he's losing hope and going into despair... And I'll make a cupcake and blowout a small candle... Like I did nearly every year. _

 

_ And What I mean by that is, before Alexander's people became extinct and died off, and I told them of my situation of saving the one I love, they helped me celebrate it. And gave me encouragement that we'll be together again and our love would prosper. I tried to keep those words in my head since 1801, coming back and realizing I was all alone... and fighting this alone... I've celebrated Heinrich's birthday by myself.. And cried myself to sleep.. Knowing I was a failure to my teacher...! _

 

_ Oh Heinrich...! I'm so sorry...! Please forgive me...! _

 

_ -J.W. _

 

* * *

 

_ 9 August, 1839 _

 

_ I CANNOT TAKE ANYMORE OF THIS MAN'S BULLSHIT! ALEXANDER HAD BEEN MANIPULATING DANIEL INTO TORTURING OTHER PRISONERS FOR HIS OWN GAIN! NOW DANIEL'S IS ALSO A DISGUSTING, FOUL PERSON WHO DOESN'T DESERVE RECOGNITION! _

 

_ Oh, who am I kidding...!? Blaming anyone isn't going to solve this issue... This long, painful incident... Daniel's suffering a similar fate... _

 

_ Even the Shadow told me that the end is to come... that if the boy made the right choice, he'd help save Agrippa himself, and he and I could reunite and prosper in love and happiness. Do I believe them...? Should I..? I do not know anymore... I'm really starting to lose it..! _

 

_ Even with the Shadow as a companion... I'm still alone... _

 

_ -J.W. _

 

* * *

 

_ 19 August, 1839 _

 

_ It's useless... I cannot save Heinrich... It's been too long now... I failed him... he's going to die eventually... Even if the Shadow tells me this is the day of rejoicing, I don't believe them... Everything I've done was for NOTHING..! Even killing others to stop them from getting what I wanted... _

 

_ I'm nothing but a selfish... pathetic human being that does not deserve to live... Even if the Shadow tells me otherwise... _

 

_ I cannot THINK with all the orbs glowing like that- _

 

_ Wait... THEY'RE GLOWING!? _

 

**_[He immediately stopped writing in this entry to find out why the orbs were glowing.]_ **

 

* * *

  
  


_ 31 August, 1839 _

 

_ The shadow was right! I shouldn't have doubted them! I have Heinrich back in my arms again! He's real! Corporal feeling! ACTUALLY HUMAN! There may have been defects from being in the husk for nearly Three centuries, BUT DEAR GODS THE SHADOW SAID HE'D BE ALRIGHT AGAIN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AFTER TODAY! _

 

_ I cannot thank Daniel enough! But I will not admit that to him... Being, he's done so many terrible things to appease Alexander's needs... _

 

_ But what happened was, I was mostly correct before Xaniel went missing (I'll get to Xaniel in a moment, actually), Daniel was abandoned before the final ritual was finalized! Daniel felt so guilty killing a little girl- her name being Elise Zimmerman, I believe, which I don't blame him for- and given himself an Amnesia potion! I may have to go back to Brennenburg while everyone is asleep to write down the ingredients for the potion. But it'll be for different purposes, I assure you. _

 

_ What happened, long story short, Daniel traveled around the Castle, the same route I took, as an amnesiac induced drunk for the first hour, and found Xaniel along the way. Yes, Xaniel returned! But he was 19, it looked like. And he also seemed to have Amnesia... It seemed his disappearance is linked to it. _

 

_ Anyway, on the way to the orb Chamber to find Alexander, Daniel's original goal was to kill him. Even in these centuries of being here, I realize, doing that himself doesn't make him look better. It wouldn't have made me look better either... Considering I'm a murderer enough already... _

 

_ But they also found a man named... Richard Savage, nicknamed Sav. Kind of a weird name, if you ask me. But some other thing happened. Since he's from the future. 1992, in fact. Mind blowing... _

 

_ But, the three found Heinrich on the way there, and Sav and Xaniel knew of his books he published before we left back in 1541! I felt kind of happy to know his knowledge wasn't pushed aside by a select few.. _

 

_ They saw the written down ingredients needed for my tonic, and proceeded to get them. The same locations I picked them up. I'm glad they're also a smart trio, in that regard. _

 

_ They helped Heinrich and went to Alexander. Threw his head into the Portal, and guess what happened? _

 

_ The orbs glowing was Heinrich coming through the portal, and he needed help! Rescuing Daniel, Xaniel, and Sav! And it was that Xaniel! That same Xaniel that had been missing since January! But going back to my tower, Heinrich was weak and blind. Again, side effect from being in the husk for so long. But he's back with me now, and we can finally be alone with the new friends he made. I just hope I can adjust... _

 

_ Thank the Gods and the Shadow I will never celebrate my love's birthday without him present ever again!! I am so thankful to have him back! _

 

_ -J.W. _

 

* * *

 

_ 19 November, 1839/1992 _

 

_ It's a little complicated, but.. I knew there was something more to it than Heinrich's heavy fatigue and blindness. _

 

_ Heinrich has been back to normal since September. The same old Heinrich I knew before we gotten separated and the whole incident started! But... He's not the exact same as he was..  _

 

_ I'll explain... _

 

_ It all started with Daniel knitting an ugly sweater for Sav, Sav being too destructively opinionated over the goddamned thing, and made Daniel upset. Sav gotten drunk off the leftover alcohol left behind by Alexander's species in an abandoned Tavern, and he gotten so angry to the point I had to send him back to his own time. _

 

_ Heinrich's problems were becoming more noticeable. Clenching to his chest a little, having trouble breathing, but he passed it off as if it was nothing. But I knew something was wrong... _

 

_ We spent three hours, watching over Sav breaking his things and falling asleep on his bed back in his own time through the orb's crystal ball ability. Then waking up, realizing what happened, and cried. _

 

_ Bringing him back, we all made up and everything was alright. Though, Daniel locked the door to his and Sav's room. We busted in and he self harmed! Dear Gods! But we managed to help him and he seemed alright after 10 minutes. Thankfully... _

 

_ We then sent them back to Sav's time, Daniel staying with him for a while. That was on the 10th. The 17th, however... A Shadow demon had invaded Sav's house with his band members (They're called Def Leppard by the way. Also a weird name), and Heinrich and I had to save them before they gotten ripped apart. _

 

_ I fainted after luring the demon away... Because, remember, channeling with the orbs the right way can use my energy. If too much, I would die. But as I was unconscious, Heinrich told the band members what happened in the Brennenburg incident. I woke up, given Heinrich a kiss... And then all of a sudden, he had a- a Heart attack..! _

 

_ And here we are now, in the present. I'm tired, I'll write more later... _

 

_ -J.W. _

 

* * *

 

  
  


_ 3 December, 1992 _

 

_ I will continue from where I left off. We took Heinrich to the hospital, where he had to have surgery. And a Heart Surgeon named Oswald Mandus. familiar name from previous accounts in back in September. Strange... Anyway, Heinrich had to stay for about a week. And I stayed next to him. Granted I had terrible nightmares of losing him. Since I got him back, I don't want to lose him again. And I never told you this, but I promised Heinrich I would protect him from then on back on the 19th of August. _

 

_ Anyway, throughout the times he was in hospital, he seemed to progress, but he had a second heart attack! It seemed he was afraid of needles! Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. My poor Heinrich still has to suffer after all he's been through! But he had to stay longer because of it. And then he had a third- that time his body was used to being in the husk for nearly three centuries, that he had heart palpitations. From his body being used to the husk having near heart failures while his soul was in it. He spent an extra week more than expected because of those three heart attacks he endured. We're just lucky he's still alive! _

 

_ We were also told Heinrich had a heart attack that nearly killed him during surgery- Oh dear Gods, please don't take him from me again...! But, thankfully, he's alright now.  _

 

_ We even encountered Alexander! How in the hell did he live!? But that apparently didn't matter... That he explained the events of losing Xaniel, and he apparently escaped the clutches of the Shadow to find his son. Since he was tired of trying to go back home and revive his past lover. I'll never know with that man and his intentions. They seem to change every so often and it's infuriating. Daniel and Alexander had a mutual break up this time, and we would never see him again after all he's done. Good riddance. After what he's done to Heinrich, I never want to see his sorry face ever again. _

 

_ And here we are, celebrating Heinrich's welcoming home, Thanksgiving, and Sav's birthday. We even gotten Heinrich a service dog, a black shiba inu named Pretzel~. Better name than the other names Heinrich picked for his two other dogs Monsieur and Mademoiselle! I don't know if I'll write more... but when I do, It will be my travels to find the rest of the orbs and give nine of them to the Shadow. At least, that's what the plan will be for now. _

 

_ They let me keep one after all the troubles I went through, and- I think after all that, I cannot wait to marry Heinrich, and have a lovely family life I always wanted. With the friends Heinrich made, becoming my friends, and a family we might make together as a married couple.. _

 

_ In the end, I think Heinrich thinks our marriage will be the last marriage he'll ever have. Our everlasting love will finally forever shine, and I cannot be more grateful than that... And here we will stay, for the rest of our lives. Happily ever after. _

 

_ -Johann Weyer _

 

**_[The journal ends around more than half way, being it had the most amount of pages than his other two had been.]_ **

**Author's Note:**

> Man, my Weyer has developed into quite the Bisexual man I never thought he'd be, if I'm honest. Just like I thought my Zero was going to be Bi, at best, but nah he's gay haha.
> 
> Weyer's so gay for Agrippa, it's insane. JUST LIKE ANNESIA TDD ITSELF HAHA! GET IT? CUZ DANIEL LOSES IT- you know I'll stop lmao


End file.
